Take the Wheel - Please!
It's funny how God-moments happen when you're not expecting it (as if you can ever plan on them!). Driving back from Georgia this morning, of course my moment hits. It's also 'funny' how you don't realize there's something weighing on you until it decides to be released. The past few days I've been spending some quality time with the road, and that has afforded me the opportunity to be alone with my thoughts, as random they sometimes are.
Have you ever felt like you're called to go off the well-worn path, and you know if you do it will be met with opposition? I've known for a while what I've felt called to do, and I have these goals that I've been working towards. Finally, I am getting to the point where I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and now? Now I have to decide what to do with my life and it's scary!
I had forgotten that I'm not the one in control of my life. I had forgotten my life and my plans are in the hands of Someone far more capable of handling everything. As I drove through back-country-highway-roads there was so much beauty to remind me of the bigger picture - there is a God greater than lil' ol' me, who has His eye on the fine details and can still see the bigger picture.
I didn't realize how overwhelmed I was feeling by the future until I broke down, while driving home from Georgia. [Now, everybody has their opinion on Hillsong, I personally love them.] I had the Zion album playing, and God chose to use select songs to bring to the forefront all these feelings that I had been pushing aside. Through the lyrics, things I wasn't able to express in prayer or in worship or in my random thoughts were available. (Spiritual and Music Therapy moment...)
So, in my little car, I'm having a worship session/spiritual moment that I was not planning on having...No big deal or anything - started praying that I wouldn't crash on top of everything going on. I have just been feeling so stagnant, and the only thing that makes it bearable knowing everything has been one step leading to another. I got a chance to see an old friend that I haven't seen in a long time been in the mission field overseas. When I asked her how she made the decision to do what she's doing, she said "I didn't really think much about it. It was kind of an impulsive decision." And there is the crux of my issue - as per usual I am overthinking everything. I just need to move forward and continue to place my future in Gods hands, and know that it'll be okay.
I don't need the approval of the world, of my academic advisers, of my colleagues, to do what I know I'm called to do. There is only One okay I need. Am I able to leave my "riches" behind to follow Christ, am I able to leave whatever it is, to follow Christ.
I have a lot to think about, but I know I have time - I just have to give the keys to God.
Have you ever felt like you're called to go off the well-worn path, and you know if you do it will be met with opposition? I've known for a while what I've felt called to do, and I have these goals that I've been working towards. Finally, I am getting to the point where I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and now? Now I have to decide what to do with my life and it's scary!
I had forgotten that I'm not the one in control of my life. I had forgotten my life and my plans are in the hands of Someone far more capable of handling everything. As I drove through back-country-highway-roads there was so much beauty to remind me of the bigger picture - there is a God greater than lil' ol' me, who has His eye on the fine details and can still see the bigger picture.
I didn't realize how overwhelmed I was feeling by the future until I broke down, while driving home from Georgia. [Now, everybody has their opinion on Hillsong, I personally love them.] I had the Zion album playing, and God chose to use select songs to bring to the forefront all these feelings that I had been pushing aside. Through the lyrics, things I wasn't able to express in prayer or in worship or in my random thoughts were available. (Spiritual and Music Therapy moment...)
So, in my little car, I'm having a worship session/spiritual moment that I was not planning on having...No big deal or anything - started praying that I wouldn't crash on top of everything going on. I have just been feeling so stagnant, and the only thing that makes it bearable knowing everything has been one step leading to another. I got a chance to see an old friend that I haven't seen in a long time been in the mission field overseas. When I asked her how she made the decision to do what she's doing, she said "I didn't really think much about it. It was kind of an impulsive decision." And there is the crux of my issue - as per usual I am overthinking everything. I just need to move forward and continue to place my future in Gods hands, and know that it'll be okay.
I don't need the approval of the world, of my academic advisers, of my colleagues, to do what I know I'm called to do. There is only One okay I need. Am I able to leave my "riches" behind to follow Christ, am I able to leave whatever it is, to follow Christ.
I have a lot to think about, but I know I have time - I just have to give the keys to God.
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