A Time for Everything

In my last semester of undergrad I am finding it to be more and more difficult to keep my work ethic going strong, stay focused, and stay in the moment. It is so easy for me to jump ahead to the future, to make plans, to put the cart ahead of the horse. I don't want to lose any of these precious moments left with friends who have become a family to me in this home-away-from-home. What will the legacy I leave behind say about the woman I am striving to be? In my mind I have left a small ripple in a big pond, and I hope that at least one person was touched by my small life. I am insignificant and yet so important. That looks funny, right? But let me be honest with myself for a moment. In the grand scheme of things, in the scheme of the entire world (or universe), I am insignificant. Compared to God above and His plan for my life, I am insignificant. BUT- in view of His plan for my life and the impact I hope to make on 1 person, I am important. (I'd like to think that I'd impact more than one...)

I am a planner, and yet I am in the stage of life known as: waiting. That is one of the scariest words to me. I can't really plan anything at this point, because any plans I make are hinging on a lot of "if's". At this point in my story, I feel like I'm wasting time, now that I know what I want and what needs to be done to accomplish that goal. I like a good adrenaline rush, as much as the next person (if not more...), but this kind of rush- stomach in knots, the weight of so many unknown's, feeling stuck-are not my idea of a good time.

Even at this moment, instead of working on class work, I have allowed myself to ramble here. I have this attitude, which needs to be checked at the door, of "This is a waste of time" or "I'm just ready to be done", etc. I know everyone has felt this about something, at some point in their life. And then God reminds me, in that way that quietly invades the disquiet of my mind that there's:  

A Time for Everything
    " There is a time for everything
         and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2    a time to be born and a time to die,
      a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3    a time to kill and a time to heal.
      a time to tear down and a time to build,
4    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
      a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
      a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6    a time to search and a time to give up,
      a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7    a time to tear and a time to mend,
      a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8    a time to love and a time to hate,
      a time for war and time for peace."
  ~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
I can't forget to live in the moment; I want to create memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life. If I keep getting so focused on the unknown up ahead, don't totally apply myself to what needs my attention in the present, I know I will regret it. I don't want to look back at the last paragraph in this chapter of my life and go, "Ooo, why did she end the chapter that way?"

 Here's to cherishing the memories that will be made and to living in the moment.
Also, let's hope I can focus on reading my assignment long enough to finish it! :) 

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